From G’s to Gents Season 1,Episode 3—Play or Be Played

Air date: 07/29/2008

This week on From G’s to Gents: the editors fuck up and show a preview of a future ep where the guys all learn how to talk to women. Some girl talks about wanting to do body shots off of Stan’s chest, so apparantly they learn how to be gentleman to girls who get a little slutty at parties. Ahem. So, due to this eff up, we know going into the ep that Cee, Stan, Creepa and Kesan will be staying. Which totally ruins all the tension in this ep about Kesan trying to run out on the show.

I forgot to tell you guys in the first episode recap that I’m friends with one of Pretty Ricky’s cousins. So I only have two degrees of seperation from the white glove.

Let’s get to the actual episode they played. Start out with shots of tattoos, dogs, grafitti, shots of LA, the sun setting, G mansion. The G’s sit around and gossip about Kesan like a bunch of girls. They think Bentley doesn’t see who Kesan really is. Kesan stands on the balcony and listens to them, then pipes up. “What the hell you talkin’ about?” Hollering ensues, but Kesan doesn’t take the bait and goes back into his room.

What appears to be the next day, J Boogie sits around being boring, while Shotta voices over that he thinks J Boogie is a “gangsta who hangs around other gangstas, but is not really a gangsta.” JB interviews that he’s a pretty boy but will snap at you if you come at him the wrong way. Foreshadowing much? I think reality show editing must be pretty much like Paint by Numbers these days. I remember when competitive reality was actually interesting. Or even cheesy goodness like Paradise Island or Kept.

Fredrick calls the G’s to the chapter room where they find a bunch of “preppy shit”(per E6) outfits laid out. Kesan is chosen to read The Daily Gent, which talks about seeing who’s the best at playing some sport. They dress, someone dances around in his outfit, they board the product placement SUVS. Like a bunch of 8th graders, the G’s in Cee’s car are still talking about Kesan, this time saying that he spit on D-Boy’s bed after he apologized. D-Boy is a huge drama queen so he gets all worked up about it. Cee doesn’t want DB to say anything because he doesn’t want to look like he’s lying.

G’s arrive at a field with a banner up that reads Southern California Cricket Association, and a few guys out on the field playing. T-Jones: “It kinda lookeded[Note:that’s not a typo. That’s how he pronounced it.] like baseball,  but a weird ass baseball”. Fonzworth Bentley greets them and tells them they’ll be learning to play cricket. The editors cut in the sound of crickets chirping as the G’s sit there with “wtf?” expressions. FB explains that today’s lesson (and Chapter 3 in the handbook) is Sportsmanship. He explains the rules, introduces them to Guest Expert of the Week David Sentance, a cricket expert. They G’s all play cricket. Attention is focused for a moment on J Boogie, who interviews that he grew up playing golf. Bentley interviews what we’re all thinking, that he thinks J Boogie is a “wanna-g”. Ahahahahahaha! Even a self-proclaimed gentleman is calling J Boogie a wannabe.

After the lesson, Fonzworth Bentley picks teams for their challenge that night. Not sufficiently happy with the amount of drama they’ve gotten for the show so far, the producers predictably have FB choose Kesan and D-Boy as team captains. Kesan’s team–Creepa, Stan, Shaun and T-Jones. D-Boy’s team—J-Boogie, Cee, Shotta, E6. D-Boy talking heads that Kesan is a fake, yo. Kesan: “Let the games begin, gentleman.”

Still in their cricket clothes, they go to a basketball court and learn they will be playing 5-on-5 g-ball. J Boogie’s talking head tells us that basketball is his #1 sport, and that’s all he does if he’s not in the lab. Say what now? That’s so not ‘g’. FB introduces them to two referees: James, the game ref. And Paul, the metrosexual ref. He’s wearing the traditional black and white referee stripes in a fitted vest and tie, with a bell tied around his neck. He will be their etiquette ref. The G’s learn that though they still earn a point for every basket they make, they will have a point deducted for any ungentlemanly conduct. The winner will be safe from elimination. FB surprises them with the news that they won’t be playing each other, but in true reality show style, they go to commercial all dramatically.

When we get back, the G’s are intro’d to their opponents, a bunch of “goons” that the producers probably encouraged to act a fool. D-Boy’s team is picked to go first. Shotta scores right away, but D-Boy soon fouls by clapping at one of his opponents. E6 is fouled for “telling the ref how to do his job”. Another foul for distracting. Shotta slaps somebody(their arm or something) and is fouled, then made to apologize. The score is 8-3; D-Boy’s team loses.

Before Kesan’s team even starts, one of the goons accepts a 20 from one of the producers and tries to instigate something with Creepa, who starts to take the bait. Shaun pulls him to the side and tries to calm him down. Game begins. T-Jones immediately gets three fouls for swearing, arguing with the ref  and then disrespecting the ref. At one point, the etiquette ref apparently gets really involved in the outcome of the game, because he tells Stan, “I felt like you gave up on that”. The hell? Ring the bell on yourself homie! Kesan’s team doesn’t score any baskets at all and loses.

Fonzworth Bentley announces the final scores. D-Boy’s team had 3 baskets and 11 fouls, making their actual score -8. Kesan’s team had 0 baskets and 7 fouls. They win the challenge with their -7 score.

Back at the house, Kesan is excited to be safe from elimination. Cee stews in the kitchen, thinking Kesan is a threat to him. So he decides to try to shit all over Kesan’s mood by confronting him in his room about spitting on D-Boy’s bed.

I have a little admission to make. I think Kesan is kinda cute. He looks especially cute at  this part of the show, where he goes around tidying up his room. He looked kinda like a little kid when he was standing up the books that he’s gotten so far from the show on his dresser. Like when you’re proud of some new little trinket you got and set it out to show it off. He may or may not be putting a front for the show, but that was a real moment of self-pride there. Ahem. Anyhow. Cee’s attempt to rile Kesan up doesn’t work, so he runs off like a little bitch and talks to D-Boy about it. Dude, if D-Boy gave a real shit about the spitting, let him confront him on his own. D-Boy allows himself to be manipulated and remembers that he’s mad about it. There’s this big to-do over whether or not the spit was before or after Kesan’s apology. Shaun goes to Kesan and asks him if he did spit on the bed. Kesan admits it but doesn’t want to discuss it with them. There’s a whole bunch of talk about how it’s disrespectful, especially by Cee, who puts on his best Godfather posturing.

Kesan, thinking if he doesn’t get out of the house he’s going to really get into it with someone, packs his bags to leave. Cee tries to mind fuck him by saying he’s not going to really do it, thinking Kesan will leave just to prove him wrong. Cee:”See you in the morning.” Kesan leaves the house, rolling two suitcases behind him. Shaun decides to run after him and pleads with him to talk to him. Shaun: “You gonna walk out on me Kesan?” Which made me giggle, as did “It’s about us, it’s about me and you.” Back at the house, the G’s thinks it’s all fake and Kesan never really planned to leave and just wants screen time FB to convince him to stay. D-Boy continues to be a drama queen by making a big show of his blanket with the spit stain, which looked much like I’d guess Monica Lewinksy’s did. And, uh, why didn’t dude wash that?  And also, shut the fuck up about it. It’s lame. Maybe I’m just old, but I’ve gone through enough fucked up bullshit in my life that if some dude spit on my bed, I’d maybe say “fuck you”, then just go wash my blanket and be done with it. Damn, I’m more G than all these fools. 

Shaun gets Kesan to come back to the house to talk. Creepa joins them, and Kesan is touched that he took off his “hater blockers”, which means he’s being real with him. They talk to him about how far he’s come and give him a g-style pep talk, and he decides to stay at the house for the night out of respect for the two of them and Bentley. Of course, they barely make it inside the house before they are confronted by D-Boy and E6. They try to call Kesan out. Suddenly Cee starts to feel bad about instigating the whole thing and tries to get D-Boy to back off.  They go sit somewhere together and D-Boy is still heated, talking shit about Kesan. Cee drinks a 40 oz and voices over how bad he feels over what he’s done.

Cee drunk dials his ex-girlfriend Gina and starts crying pretty much as soon as she answers. He spouts the usual Reality Show CryBaby line about wanting to go home. He repeatedly says that he can’t change. After the call he drinks another 40 and mopes around. The next morning, he smokes outside, deep in thought about how to get more screen time  what he’s done. Meanwhile, Kesan meets with Fonzworth Bentley. He talks about his issues with violence, saying he’s lost every job he ever had and even got locked up as a result of his violent tendencies. Bentley tells him they are all writing books, and not all of the chapters can be good. He encourages him by telling him that real champions know how to fail and get back up. He asks if Kesan wants to be here. “Absolutely.” Kesan interviews about needing to focus on his goals and wanting to prove himself.

Fredrick tells the G’s to dress for elimination. Suddenly Shaun decides to g-check J Boogie. J Boogie responds in his usual boring manner. I guess he’s too lame to snap at Shaun like he said he’d do earlier in the ep. Talking head JB says he thinks the show is more of a popularity contest when it shouldn’t be. Get over it, Boogie. Most competitive reality is about nothing more than popularity. How else do you think Kelly Monaco managed to win the first season of Dancing with the Stars? Shaun tells J Boogie not to be surprised if he gets blackballed tonight. 

On a balcony somewhere, Cee admits to a group of G’s that he x’d out his own picture, not Kesan. D-Boy doesn’t want him to admit it to Kesan. Cee voices over about being worried that he’ll be the next to go.

Votes take place. Creepa interviews that “I’m seeing all this bickering and backering in the house.” I kinda loved that. Backering. Heh. He votes for D-Boy. Elimination starts. I’m annoyed that Cee is wearing a t-shirt underneath his blazer. It looks stupid. And how tall is Cee anyway, like 5’3? Moving on, Bentley comes in and tells him he was proud of them on the cricket field but they didn’t keep that  behavior up when they got home. He talks about what he wants them to learn from this, then starts counting spheres. Sphere count: Shotta-0, E6-1 (FB:”Sounds personal”), D-Boy–3, Cee-2, J Boogie-4. When Cee’s balls are revealed(hee), FB tells him he needs to get it together because he doesn’t want his time wasted.  J Boogie, Cee and D-Boy are called down for final elimination.

J Boogie’s plea to stay in the house is unconvincing, saying he’s very focused and he’s not like others who drink and start drama. D-Boy brings up the spitting AGAIN, and there’s back and forth between him and Cee about whether the spit was before or after Kesan’s apology. Bentley interrupts their bickering to make his decision. He stats that consistency is important and for that reason, D-Boy is allowed to stay. He emphasizes the title of the show, and tells J Boogie he is too boring to continue to be on the show doesn’t need this. Talking head Fonzworth says that you have to be a g to start with, not a wanna-g. Oooooooooh, snap. Even Fonzworth g-checked J Boogie.

Next week on the show: Irv Gotti. That’d be far more exciting for me if he brought his estranged wife Deb along. When’s Gotti’s Way coming back? Or maybe that realized how traumatizing it was for their kids to have all of their schoolmates see their dad talk about how he didn’t love their mom enough to stop fucking around.

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