Air date: 07/22/08
Just a note— I realize I am way behind with the recaps. I’m on ep 2 and ep 8 aired last night. I got a decent response to ep 1 and am going to try to bust these next 7 out as fast as I can to catch up.
Last week on the show…the guys are told they’re competing for 100k, they get their blazers, Pretty Ricky tells Fonzworth that he can go to the bathroom on his own(it didn’t make sense then either), The Truth argues with E6 and his fine ass, Pretty Ricky pees by a wall like he’s Mini Me or somebody, they have a Chapter meeting, the guys say that Creepa is intimidating (foreshadowing, anyone?), PeePee Ricky and The False[TM E6] are sent home.
This time I paid a little more attention to the opening credits. The song is pretty lame, and some of the lyrics that I bothered to catch said something about “repping my hood” and “transform my gangsta”.
Shots of LA, the Beverly Hills sign, the G’s house. The G’s wake up and make their bed while some talking head interviews discuss the elimination the night before. Creepa apparently slept in his blazer. Yuck. I hope that butler dude gets those dry cleaned. Creepa wants to talk about getting one black ball at elimination. (subtitled)”Whoever think they can play some **** chess right now, will get their ass spanked.” I’d like to note that the editors are slightly wrong with that—Creepa said “they”, not “their”. It’s G’s talking here! Throw all you know about grammar out the window.
Creepa and then Kesan bang on the bathroom door because D-Boy is taking too long. Kesan hits the door with a belt, then says “I’m going to fuck your mother, dog”. Bring grammar back for a second—that comma is very important in that sentence or we head into a whole different meaning. Then Kesan struts around and kicks what I guess was underwear, because then he calls outs “Briefs!” In a talking head, he tells us he has a history of violence. He and D-Boy talk shit back and forth. You’ve seen a few reality shows, right? Good, so you should know that that arguement will come into play later in the ep.
Butler dude Fredrick greets them at the table and introduces the next Reality Show Basic, called The Daily Gent. Otherwise known as Tyra Mail, or the clue texted from their product placed Verizon Wireless cell phone, etc. Zenel uses his 4th grade level reading skills to read TDG to the rest of the G’s, and they learn their challenge will involve dressing in their “fullest flava”. TH(talking head interview) Cee says he’s a dapper don and has got it in the bag. When he’s finished reading Zenel calls out “Beefeshtadaandzizzerzazzerzuzz!”, but the subtitles translate it as “Be fresh to death and look like a zillion bucks!”
The G’s get dressed and load into a couple of SUVs, which are no doubt product placements since we got a close up of the word “Navigator” on one of the SUVs. Shots of Rodeo Drive, and we arrive at Reiss. Mr. Bentley meets them and says there’s more to clothing than suspect jewelry(shot of Zenel wearing a thick chain) and do rags(shot of Kesan wearing a suit, tie and matching DO RAG–why Kesan, why?). They’re introduced to Marcellas Reynolds, host of Shop Like a Star which, frankly, I’ve never heard of. A quick google tells me he was on Big Brother, too. J Boogie tells us he’s heard of him, knew he was an icon of style, just like him. J Boogie’s ass is saying this while he’s sitting there with a fauxhawk, a white t-shirt, Member’s Only jacket and stonewashed jeans, not to mention high top Nikes. Get off my TV, Boogie. No wait, hold on a sec. What kind of “g” name is J Boogie? That’s a B-Boy name if ever I heard one. Did he not make the cut for America’s Best Dance Crew and tried out for this show instead?
Chapter 2 of the Gentleman’s Handbook is Fashion. The G’s take notes while Marcellas points out that the only time we should see a man’s undies is if he’s about to “get it on”. Or, um, if we’re going to see that, perhaps we’d see him go to the bathroom too. That’s more of an undies moment. Bentley interjects to agree with MB, using the expression “pull his ass down or jeans up” while we’re treated to a shot of one of the guy’s asses hanging out of his jeans. I’m not ABOUT to pause that shit to figure out whose it was.
Creepa is apparently going to treat us with many nonsensical statements for his run on the show, based on this ep. He states “I’ve got style cuz I’m a goon. Could be butt ass naked and vibe!” Marcellas asks Mikey P who his fashion role model is. Spikey answers that it’s David Beckham. Bentley bursts out laughing and tells him that his spikey hair was very distracting when he first saw him. Shaun says in a TH that there’s nothing ‘g’ about Mikey P. Sure there is–Gotti, as in Gotti wannabe. They must have cut out most of the day’s lesson, because the only other thing we see is the G’s learning how to tie a tie. Apparently one variation is The Dimple AKA The Wall Street Cleavage(a non-G gent attempts the same thing here). Creepa–“Im going to rock suits all the time. Eeeeaaaah. Know what I’m sayin’?” Not that last part, no.
Back at the mansion, most of the G’s sit around smoking and taking their g status way too seriously. “Man, he disrespected you.” Who? Oh, they’re talking about Kesan and what he said to D-Boy. Apparently that comment about fucking his mom is worse to them because she’s diabetic and hasn’t been well. D-Boy must’ve read my notes from last episode where I wondered if he’d stay around long since we didn’t learn who he was til halfway through the show, because now he’s making this comment into a big drama. Cee listens to the guys bitch about Kesan and decides to “jump on” and “seal Kesan out”. Side note: Spikey P’s hair is flat and looks a
million hundred times better.
Back from commercial. The G’s start their challenge. FB separates them into teams. Team A–Shotta, Stan, E6, and Shaun. Team B–Creepa, Zenel, Cee and Spikey. Team C—J Boogie, T-Jones, D-Boy and Kesan. RSB: Put people on the team who hate each other. Which, to be fair, isn’t really just a reality show thing. It’s usually a good way to force people to interact with each other and get over their differences like adults. This is reality TV though, so the latter probably won’t happen. Fonzworth explains that the team who wins the challenges is granted immunity. He introduces their guest judge, Ozwald Boateng from England. He’s dressed Will Smith, Jamie Foxx and David Beckham. Their challenge—they have a rack of clothes and must figure out to dress for three seperate invites. A country club, a skybox at Dodger stadium and a charity event aboard a yacht.
The G’s go off to pick their captains and outfits. Cee is Team B’s captain. Mikey P walks by in a lavender shirt and Kangol-style flat cap and for a split second I found him kind of sexy. Shhhh. I didn’t say that. Shaun heads up Team A, and Team C picks D-Boy as their captain. Before commercial, someone’s gotta deliver the ole “I could be going home” line. T-Jones gets that honor as he struggles to find something to wear.
Back from commercial, we hear again about how the winner is determined. It’s like I’m watching the RW/RR Challenge and have to hear 8 different team members and TJ Lavin tell me the rules 40 different times. On to the fashion show. We’re starting off with the country club outfit and Shaun’s team is up first. Stan models a light blue shirt and pink pants(really? Is that what I’m seeing? I watched it on the computer) and reminds us in a TH that he was a stripper. I totally forgot that since he’s gotten about 5 seconds of screen time. Mikey P reps Cee’s team with that lavender shirt, a black sweater over it, black pants and a white cap. Not really golfing attire—too dressy. J Boogie comes out in his cashmere sweater and D-Boy’s commentary includes “definitely came for lunch, swagger with a punch”. He makes a point of telling FB and OB that it’s the “Bentley touch”, influenced by Mr. Bentley himself. Ozwald asks Fonzworth “Is this what you do?” Answer– “I hope not.” J Boogie’s bruised ego interviews that he has way more style and probably gets way more girls than Fonzworth Bentley. Stan wins Round 1.
Round 2–Charity Event. Shotta’s outfit is described by Shaun as “navy pin-striped business suit with sal-mon colored tie”. Yes, he said sal. Cee describes Zenel’s suit as “angel white”. D-Boy rhymes Kesan’s outfit too—“Simple with a dimple. Swagger’s at 100.” Fonzworth asks Kesan why he chose that outfit, and Kesan fucks it up for his team by saying he was going “as a star”. FB–“I thought this was a charity event.” D-Boy is pissed. Zenel wins.
Round 3–Skybox. E6 comes out and does some weird pointing stuff, I guess trying to play a role. Fonzworth laughs at Creepa, who is wearing a black jacket and pants, with black shirt opened at the chest, showing off his chain. Before T-Jones even comes out, D-Boy has to tell FB and OB they didn’t have much to choose from as far as clothes, spoiling the spotlight for T-Jones. He handles it well. D-Boy pronounces dungarees with a hard g. Guess that’s a new word for him. He continues to make excuses about the outfit, which actually pissed me off. I didn’t think T-Jones looked that bad. Plus I kinda like him because he’s always smiling. D-Boy says it was important for him to be the emcee. Fonzworth tells D-Boy, “Sounds like you made it about yourself.” In an interview, D-Boy says “They knew..I know how to speak, my speech.” E6 wins Round 3, making Team A the winner.
The next morning, Zenel admits to Creepa that he put the sphere is his box to “g-check” him and tries to laugh it off. TH Creepa tells us “while you black ball me, I’ll return the favor and..had another favor returned as well, now you outta here.” I joke about Creepa, but at least he makes the show fun. Who the fuck else has anything to say? Stan? Pssht.
We get a quick glimpse of the stuff they usually talk about on their off time—J Boogie asking “if a bear and a gorilla fight, who’ll win?” Fredrick interrupts this scintillating conversation to tell them it’s time for the black ball vote. Cee’s got a feeling “something’s going to happen, I can feel it.” Well, yeah, Cee, someone’s getting voted out. So something IS going to happen for sure.
A couple of G’s are in the hallway, having discovered that someone put an X over Cee’s picture. He’s nearby, and struts over to see what’s what. “That’s not just disrespect, that’s…defacing my face”. Me—giggling. Cee starts talking shit. “On my daughter’s life, I’ll go home cause I’ll [bleep] somebody if they admit it, cause I’ll knock their teeth out the back of their head, and I won’t stop. Then I’ll stab ’em in the [beep]ing head with a pencil”. Wow, did Cee write the script for The Dark Knight? He starts speculating that Kesan did it. Cee loudly offers $500 to whoever admits they did it. He goes into a bedroom where other G’s are dressing for elimination, and runs his mouth more about the x on his picture. G’s think it’s Kesan. He gets riled up and argues with D-Boy. D-Boy tries to walk away but Kesan won’t get out of his face.
A TH of Cee has him telling us he’s a con man, and we see footage of him x-ing out his own picture, admitting he did it to get the others to turn against Kesan faster. I knew it. I knew with all that shit talking, the lack of surprise when he saw the picture. It just makes that line about swearing on his daughter’s life a bit sickening, as he used her as part of his con. Meanwhile, Spikey P goes to FB in a rather FOL/ROL moment. Remember the girls would always go to Flav/Brett to whine that so-and-so “is not here for you”? It’s like that. Spikey tells FB about the “I’ll fuck your mom” comment, and FB isn’t too impressed with this admission. He voices over that he doesn’t like a snitch. Spikey tells FB he’s got 3 jobs, a motorcycle and just bought a 4-bedroom house. FB is surprised.
Before commercial, the voting process begins. Creepa votes for Zenel. After commercial, we learn the ball count. T-Jones, J Boogie, Creepa and Cee all have empty boxes. Mikey P has…erm. two balls, as does Zenel. [and everyone else, presumably] D-Boy has one, and when his..uh…sphere is revealed, he calls out Kesan. Kesan admits what he said about D-Boy’s mom. Kesan’s box has 7 balls. Kesan, Zenel and Spikey P are all called down to face elimination. Kesan–“I’m going home, it’s a wrap”. Aaaaaaaaand commercial.
Fonzworth tells Mikey P “You don’t need this” and denies his membership. Mikey P tells us that even though he has a motorcyle and a house, he’s still a g, and he’s going to go make his hair spikey and take lots of pictures of it. Mikey, Mikey, Mikey. When everyone tells you that your hair sucks, listen.
It’s down to Zenel and Kesan. FB points out that Zenel is a model/actor and Kesan is the one who needs more help. Kesan says he needs to change his life. Zenel is eliminated. Zenel—“Second place is the first loser, that’s how I see it”. Uh….Zenel? You didn’t get second place, dear. You were third eliminated. You’re like, eighth place. So you’re not even the first loser.
Next week—the G’s learn to play cricket, and Kesan supposedly leaves the show.